Thursday, March 4, 2010

Changing Directions

I had a bit of a breakdown this afternoon. I had to make a few phone calls to my doctors regarding appointments. The calls were pretty much routine but after the last one I just started sobbing. I don't want this disease to be a part of my life! I don't want doctors to be a part of my daily conversations, nor do I want to constantly be thinking about how healthy I need to be. I don't want to think about the vitamins, protein drinks,energy bars needed to build up my immune system. I don't want to commit to the 9 hours of sleep I am supposed to get every night. I am 20 years old for crying out loud! I enjoy the crazy college hours and the midnight junk food runs. Yep my life has turned upside down.


After my little pity party I realized I needed to try to switch my attitude from negative to positive. I decided I am going to set little goals for myself to keep me moving forward in a positive direction. In the past I felt like my opinions were not important. When friends would ask where I wanted to eat or what song do I want to listen to in the car my answers would be "it doesn't matter," "you choose," "I like everything so you pick." So, my first goal is to delete these phrases from my vocabulary. If someone is asking for my opinion they clearly want to know how I feel or my take on the situation so I am going to give it. I think that being respectfully assertive will make me a stronger person and more interesting as well. How's that for a start in a positive direction?


~Katie



5 comments:

  1. I think is it wonderful that you are giving yourself small goals to keep yourself motivated. That is just so healthy and postive! Good for you. I am so happy that you are getting such support from other bloggers. I, too, feel so overwhlemed by my fellow bloggers in times of need.
    Have a good weekend! Heather

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  2. That is a great start toward a more positive outlook! Good for you.

    The true character of a person comes out when he or she is faced with trials and adversity. Your blog posts (and your willingness to share you story with others) shows your true colors... and they are beautiful.

    You're in my prayers.

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  3. Of course people want your opinion you have great taste darling! What a great way to get started.

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  4. I like the idea of setting positive goals.

    You are going to have good times and bad. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. You are an inspiration.

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  5. I’m very glad that you are trying to be positive, Katie. Your attitude makes a huge difference during trials. We all have to be reminded that our life and everything that we have is a gift. Gift that we need to appreciate. Unfortunately we accept things as a given and we get upset when we lose things which never belong to us on a first place. Battle with cancer is not an easy thing especially when you are young. My sister was 27 when she was diagnosed and she was last stage 4B with multiple tumors (NHL anaplastic large cell lymphoma) and there wasn’t much hope for her to survive. By the God’s grace she is cancer free for the past year and three months and enjoying good health. She went through very difficult time, but she chose to trust God and enjoy life as much as she can. I’ve heard from other people too that cancer helped them to appreciate life better and enjoy the little things in life.
    Remember that you are in His mighty hand. God is with you and you are not forsaken, but sometimes we go through bumpy road.
    Emilia Blake

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